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The common perception is, however, that Islam (like most other religions), views sex negatively. Sex is linked with sin: it is a wild horse that needs to be blinkered and tightly reined in, lest we frail humans fall by the wayside. This is a curious position to take (so to speak) – after all, none of us would be here without sex! Sex is thus the source of life, not to mention pleasure – another area that we don’t necessarily usually relate to religion.
Julia Suryakusuma
A year ago, Abu Bakar Ba’asyir, the head of the hardline Islamic group
Jemaah Islamiyah considered responsible for the Bali bombs, said that
Indonesian TV shows that feature scantily dressed women are a threat more
dangerous than bombs. Speaking for Islam, as he claimed to be, Ba’asyir
seemed disapproving of sexuality – to put it mildly.
Around the same time,
vice-president Jusuf Kalla proposed promoting (sex) tourism for oil-rich
Middle Eastern men. He wanted to facilitate their access to attractive janda
(widows or divorcees) in Puncak, a hill resort outside Jakarta by using the
Shia tradition of mutah (fixed-time marriage) to legalise them. Like
Ba’asyir, Kalla claiming to be speaking from an Islam perspective but he
seemed a lot more enthusiastic about sexuality – well, male sexuality, at
any rate.
So, where does Islam stand on sex, really? That’s not an easy
question to answer, because the underlying question is, ‘which Islam?’
There
are many ‘Islams’ – different traditions and interpretations – rather than a
single, monolithic institution, just as there are many different
interpretations of ‘democracy’. And then within these ‘Islams’ there are
millions of Muslims, all individuals with their own inclinations, yearnings,
desires, quirks, sexual preferences, orientations and ideas (including kinky
and perverse ones!), leading to interpretations and practises by the
multitude.
The common perception is, however, that Islam (like most other
religions), views sex negatively. Sex is linked with sin: it is a wild horse
that needs to be blinkered and tightly reined in, lest we frail humans fall
by the wayside. This is a curious position to take (so to speak) – after
all, none of us would be here without sex! Sex is thus the source of life,
not to mention pleasure – another area that we don’t necessarily usually
relate to religion.
According to ‘Nana’, a close Muslim girlfriend, the
discourse of sexuality in Islam is, in reality, very broad and open. In the
classical tradition, it is certainly not a taboo subject, but covers a broad
range of topics, up to the most technical aspects of sex. In fact, ‘Nana’
who hails from a pesantren (Islamic boarding school), said, ‘In pesantrens,
we are used to talking about such matters’. Indeed, that is one of the
reasons I was able to be close friends with her, because we’re able to talk
about so many things, including our personal sexual lives. Wearing a jilbab
(headscarf) certainly does not make her asexual, or reluctant to discuss
sex.
So, what does Islam have to say about what goes on when the clothes
come off? What I found may be as surprising for you as it was for me! Yes, I
found (to my relief) that Islam is actually very positive and affirming of
sex. It even recommends it as one of the most enjoyable aspects of life – so
much so that Islam forbids celibacy, as it does monasticism and castration.
Sex is seen as yielding essential health benefits: for men, it is believed,
semen retained for an extended period can cause ‘illness and infirmities,
including obsession, habitude, lunacy and even insanity’.
The Qur’an
recognises human beings as sexual: sexuality is an intrinsic part of being
human, and is not at all opposed to spirituality. It says, for example ‘In
the sexual act of each of you there is a sadaqah (charity or gift).’
Naturally, this is in the context of nikah (marriage), which literally
means, ‘to have sex’. Nikah is a contract never to seek sexual satisfaction
outside the marriage bond and Islam therefore commands both the wife and the
husband to be aware of each other’s urges and needs. By depriving his wife
of sexual pleasure, a husband would be committing a sin.
In Indonesia’s
Muslim tradition, sex within marriage is called nafkah bathin – income for
the soul – implying clearly that physical, bodily need is ultimately
something that nourishes and supports the growth of the soul. Companionship
and enjoyment of the spouse are extremely important in married life, to be
carried on into old age, including sex, when having babies is no longer
possible. In many Islamic traditions, the inability of either spouse to
fulfill her or his sexual duties (or not produce offspring) may be grounds
for a deprived party to file for divorce, or in the case of a man, to take
on a second wife. That’s the unfair bit, especially since polygyny (polygamy
for males) is actually restricted, although men violate these restrictions
only too often.
Like the Bible, the stress in the Qur’an is on procreation
as one of the functions of sex, mostly affirming masculine heterosexual
sexual experience and male patriarchal dominance. There’s polygamy for men,
and the mu’tah (literally, to have sex for satisfaction) that I mentioned
earlier. This is basically a legal marriage built solely on sexual desire,
to avoid fornication and prostitution. Some scholars argue it was originally
intended to assist men who could not afford a traditional and cultural
marriage because of the expense involved. Mu’tah is also allowed for men who
travel on foot for hundreds of miles – to prevent them from committing rape
or homosexual acts, or so it is said. Well, maybe, but if many Shias are
okay with mu’tah, Sunni traditions usually forbid it (can someone tell our
Sunni vice-president, please?)
And what about women? Ah well, that’s another
matter altogether. For them, unfortunately, there is usually confinement,
covering up, strict gender role-playing, and certainly no polyandry
(polygamy for girls!). Serial monogamy is a possibility though, and is
commonly practised – rife even – in Indonesian villages.
Is this affirming
stance to sexuality a reflection of doctrine? The Qur’an waxes lyrical about
the joys of paradise, with rivers of milk and honey flowing, beautiful
nymphs ready to grant your every whim, including sexual pleasures. In fact,
in Islamic discourse, paradise is sometimes referred to as ‘the eternal
orgasm’ (for both sexes, because the soul is genderless).
Sex in Islam is
usually understood as sexual intercourse in heterosexual, monogamous
marriages. But is all sex really just about sexual intercourse? Perhaps Bill
Clinton is a Muslim at heart – after all, he claimed he did not commit
adultery with Monica Lewinsky because although they had sex it was only
oral, and he was passive to boot! So much for technicalities: most people
nowadays would certainly not consider sex to be confined to intercourse.
Were it otherwise, there would be none of the fatwas that exist condemning
oral sex – tacit acknowledgement surely that it is indeed sex! The issue is
not clear-cut, however.
Some streams of Islam say that there is no clear
prohibition. Many jurists argue simply that although the fluids of both male
and female sex organs are najis (impure), and shouldn’t touch the mouth,
they are not haram (forbidden), just makruh (disliked/offensive).
Ditto with
masturbation. The majority frown upon it, but some scholars consider semen
as an excretion of the body like any other, and according to Ibn ‘Abbaas`,
‘it is nothing but rubbing one’s private parts until a fluid comes out’. The
Hanbali jurists permit it under two conditions: the fear of committing
adultery, or not having the means to marry. Only when it comes to zina
(adultery), prostitution, anal sex, and intercourse during menstruation do
all jurists say that it is haram.
What about homosexuality? The Qur’an
explicitly forbids all same-sex sexual activity and Islamic jurisprudence
has often prescribed dire punishments for it. This is, of course, no
different from the Bible, and traditional Christian doctrine. So it’s taboo
– and, absurdly, some even go so far denying that gays, lesbians and
bisexuals have ever existed at all!
But social and historical reality says
otherwise, and same-sex sexual expression has been more or less a recognized
aspect of Muslim societies for many centuries, as can be seen through
literature, belles-lettres (like adab, a literary genre developed during the
heights of the Abbasid culture from the 9th century, distinguished by its
broad humanitarian concerns), and copious amounts
of erotica. These discuss same-sex sexual activity frequently and explicitly
and in Aceh, the northern-most province of Indonesia, there exist homoerotic
poems not unlike those in Urdu literature from northern India.
This same
openness is reflected in the flexibility traditionally exercised towards
homosexuality in Indonesian pesantren. After all, homosexuality is common in
many homosocial communities (like prisons), and boarding schools are no
exception. While officially condemned, in practise, homosexuality is
institutionalised in orthodox pesantrens. It even has a name: mairilan, the
relationship between a young student and an older student who acts as a
mentor.
Lesbianism in pesantrens is equally common, as the pairing system
applies to girls as well. The name for a unique sexual practise is sihaq –
rubbing the labia against the hipbone, which makes thin girls very popular.
And when the pesantren students learn the Kitab Kuning (the classical text
books used in pesantren) it helps to do it in pairs – easier to memorise.
After they graduate from the pesantren in their late teens, and work in
society, pesantren couples – male or female – usually retain a bond of
friendship, even after they marry. Some choose to continue their homosexual
relationships, but they are very few in number.
Homosexuality is considered
a lesser evil than premarital or extramarital sex, so even where there are
female sex workers, some Muslim men prefer to have sex with waria, or other
men, in East Java especially. Why is this? Well, it’s because unlike
extramarital or pre-marital sex with a woman (which is considered zinah –
adultery – and a very serious offence) homosexuality is considered a minor
infraction (fahisyah), easily cancelled out by doing good deeds like
zakat
(alms)! That’s handy!
Islam in Indonesia specifically – sensual, erotic and
raunchy people that we are – is ‘tropical Islam’, and very far from Islamic
traditions of the Middle East. It’s blended in with local pagan, pre-
Islamic customs and traditions, which have less duality between spirituality
and sexuality, and where sexuality can indeed, often be an expression of
spirituality.
Last year, there were attempts by Islamic hardliners to push
for the so-called anti-pornography Bill (apparently failed, although
technically still before the legislature), aimed at stamping out alternative
and more liberal traditions deemed unacceptable by more conservative
Muslims. Take traditional attire, for example. Much of it is downright sexy,
from the low-cut kebaya, to the skimpy koteka (penis sheath) in Papua, which
leaves little or nothing to the imagination. The reality is that our ancient
cultural practises are much more diverse and bizarre – and much more fun –
than the bits that the State, conservative Islam or event organisers select
for national promotion as Indonesia’s collective identity.
So, for example,
there’s the custom of sexual swapping among peasant couples in Central Java,
ritually copulating in rice-fields to bring about fertility. And there’s spouseswapping in some Papuan ethnic groups, again to bring fertility. In
Gunung Kemukus (Kemukus Mountain) in Central Java near Solo, there is a tomb
considered sacred. People make a pilgrimage there to seek blessings for good
fortune, a work promotion, to win the lottery or get a good marriage
partner. One of the conditions, however, is sex with a stranger. It’s not
supposed to be with sexworkers, but prostitutes have cashed in.
Gunung
Gangsir is similar to Gunung Kemukus, southeast of Surabaya. Married couples
still go there on certain days of the Javanese calendar. Each then goes
their own way and finds someone else’s spouse for sex, before reuniting,
with renewed luck for business. As in Gunung Kemukus, female prostitutes
have made this ritual profane by making themselves available, and, of
course, some men go there without their wives, as do unmarried couples. The
sex now is more varied: heterosexual, homosexual, men and waria (transgenders).
The ritual takes place in a cemetery near a revered Hindu-Buddhist ruins (Candi
Gunung Gangsir), and smacks of orgiastic Tantric rituals. Not surprising,
given that Singasari – the ancient dynasty that once ruled the area – was
Tantric.
Then there’s Ponorogo, a small town in East Java, the home of the
warok, a man who stages ritual dances in order to bring good fortune to the
community. His dancers, called gemblak, were once attractive boys aged
10-16, with whom he had sex to maintain mystical powers: institutionalised
paedophilia really. No wonder the government told the warok to change his
ways. Now girls make up the dance troupe and the gemblaks all went off to
gay communities in the big cities.
Recently, I heard a true story about A, a
suburban minivan driver in his late 30. He goes around one of the Surabaya
suburbs picking up and dropping off passengers, aided by his assistant, B, a
gay man in his 20s. A has two wives, being a good Muslim and all, and his
relationship with B is friendly as typical between a driver and his
assistant. One quiet evening their minivan was empty before they got to the
terminal, and suddenly A pulled up, somewhat to B’s surprise, since there
were no passengers in sight. B was sitting on the passenger seat next to A.
Suddenly A said to B, ‘Unzip your pants,’ this time to the latter’s utter
surprise. B said, ‘But Mas (big brother), what’s this all about?’ A said,
‘Just do it.’ So B did it (well, he’s always kind of liked A’s masculine,
handsome look anyway), and A proceeded to perform fellatio on B. After B
climaxed, A carried on as if nothing special had happened. B picked up his
courage and asked, ‘But Mas, I thought you were happily married to your two
wives?’ A replied, ‘Of course, I love them both dearly, but from the moment
I met you, I’ve always wanted to do that to you.’ Just goes to show, human
passion is unlimited, and its target very varied indeed!
Being a pious
Muslim, and wearing jilbab, doesn’t even prevent you from having a penchant
for S & M sex (so long as it’s with your husband), I was informed. Dédé
Oetomo, the founder of GAYa NUSANTARA, Indonesia’s leading gay organisation,
recounted a story about a married merchant couple who have gone on the haj
(several times!) who enjoy having a threesome with a beautiful waria
(transgender) once a month when they come to the big city to buy supplies
for their shop!
So, does this all turn your perception of Islam and sex on
its head? It did me! I made me realise there may be a third way for Islam
and sex – not the condemnatory intolerance of Ba’asyir or the sex tourism of
Kalla, but a more joyous, tolerant and frank acceptance of the centrality of
sexuality in our lives.
This essay is an expanded version of a column published in TEMPO
Newsmagazine, English language edition, 3 July 2007
Julia Suryakusuma is the author of Sex, Power and
Nation. She can be contacted at jsuryakusuma@gmail.com.
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