Sexual Pleasure, Sexuality, and Rights
Subtopic 2: The Regulation and Freedom of Pleasure – An Introduction 

Greetings and welcome to the introduction to the discussion on Subtopic 2: The Regulation and Freedom of Pleasure! We hope to be able to include threads of the previous subtopic’s discussion into this one and look forward to hearing a diverse set of critical debates on these issues. (A logistical note: When replying to emails, please delete the previous emails from your reply, as it is difficult for many to download large amounts of content on emails. Thank you.)

The definition of pleasure forces the issue of boundaries and “acceptable” levels of freedom. Sexual pleasure is already such a taboo subject, one that is misunderstood, or in many contexts, not understood at all. The boundaries set up around sexual pleasure reflect personal judgments and values that are often restrictive and fuel a culture of shame and silence. 

There are two types of spaces associated with regulation and freedom of sexual pleasure – the public and the private. Both spaces have devised their own set of rules for engaging with sexual pleasure. However, this does not mean that either space is without expectations and judgments about how the other space should be moderated and negotiated. For example, in many contexts and cultures, expression of sexual pleasure (holding hands, kissing, having sex) in public (for example, at a movie theatre or on the street) is frowned upon, while the same behavior in the privacy of one’s bedroom is not. 

At the same time, within the public and private, there are hierarchies that restrict and or enable freedom around the expression of sexual pleasure. For example, for many contexts, the commercial and popular media enjoys much freedom when engaging with sexuality and its associations with pleasure. However, when it comes to pornography media, it is deemed only for “those who find that kind of thing appealing.” 

Since there is a concept of “appropriateness” associated with pleasure in public and private, a set of rules is developed to regulate pleasure’s expression. This is how laws and policies on “obscenity” and “indecency” are developed and used to help people understand what “society’s” standards around the appropriate levels of expression of sexual pleasure – in public AND in private. Then there are the standards where people think pleasure should have absolutely no space. For example, what if someone finds sex with a child pleasurable? Does it become more acceptable or non-acceptable if the child also finds it pleasurable? What is the discomfort around talking about pleasure in this form? 

Additionally, the discourse gets even more complicated when addressing the complex relationship between power and pain – during, after, before sexual experiences - what do we constitute as harm? In BDSM (bondage/discipline/domination/submission/sadomasochism), there are some that say that BDSM is a manifested form of oppression and violence and that inflicting pain can have no legitimate place in healthy sexuality. There are others who say that exploring power dynamics in its many forms in trusted space is another form of expression of healthy sexuality. What is the line? 

In thinking about how to respond in the next few weeks, here are a set of questions to get us started:

1. Taking into account that sexual pleasure can be derived in various ways and desired in numerous forms, what are those boundaries? And does crossing the line include fantasies as well? Why or why not? Who sets these boundaries and how does that influence how we understand them? 
2. What is the complex relationship between pleasure and power/pain? What is inappropriate? Is there such a thing? Are all inappropriate behaviors/thoughts abusive? Who defines ‘appropriateness’ in society/ in a relationship? 
3. What influences these fantasies and how we think about boundaries? What does it say about what we give ourselves permission to do/think about with ourselves and others? 
4. What is the relationship between the public and private domains of “acceptable” pleasure? What influences how these dynamics are played out?

Please feel free to write in your analyses, observations, thoughts, comments, and examples addressing any, one, or all of the issues and questions raised above. Alternatively, you can also pose new questions you feel are relevant for this sub-topic. 

We look forward to an exciting and lively discussion!

Regards,

Neha Patel (Moderator)
The South and Southeast Asia Resource Centre on Sexuality